“Understanding begins with listening —
and courage can take the gentlest of forms.”

Interview conducted by Raluca, for the TRANScenDANCE project (Romania, 2025)

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Introduction

As part of the TRANScenDANCE project, we continue to amplify the voices of transgender and non-binary people, offering them space to share their lived experiences and reflections on identity, belonging, and expression. These stories help build a more inclusive understanding of gender diversity and the realities faced by queer individuals across Europe.

In this interview, conducted by Raluca, we meet Ash, a 19-year-old trans and non-binary person from Romania. Through his calm and thoughtful perspective, Ash talks about what it means to grow up and live authentically in a society where visibility still comes with vulnerability. He shares insights about discrimination, safety, self-expression, and the importance of respect, empathy, and awareness. His testimony is both honest and hopeful — a reminder that understanding begins with listening, and that courage can take many gentle forms.

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Introduction and Identity

[0:00:00] Ash
My name is Asher. I also go by Ash. I’m 19 years old. I’m very happy to be here. I go by he, they pronouns, but he, him is fine as well. I don’t mind any of them. Thank you for having me.

[0:00:15] Raluca
Thank you for your availability. And I will start with the first question. Would you like to  share how life is for a transgender person in your country in Romania?

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Life as a Trans Person in Romania

[0:00:28] Ash
I feel like it’s a bit tricky in a way within the queer community here.Like you feel like you belong and it’s kind of settled in into a sort of comfort especially cuz I have so many of my friends personally are queer. But outside of it especially trying to come out of the bubble since in general in Eastern Europe it’s a bit more tougher.

It’s a bit less open than other parts of Europe or per say like the western side of the world.Especially now in more current years, I feel like it’s expanding a little bit. At least the attempts in general for queer visibility is becoming more and more apparent. And it’s given me like some hope and through all the steps that we can possibly take to just create awareness. I feel like it would help a lot of youth as well because I know growing up I felt a bit helpless in that sense.

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Public Perception and Media Representation

[0:01:50] Raluca
And what is the public opinion on transgender in Romania? How do you perceive it? 

[0:01:56] Ash
I feel like it’s sort of like a taboo topic or a sense of like in a way sometimes we’re kind of treated like we’re this mythical creature or like just dehumanizing sense of oh that’s not a thing or they think it’s like a a character personality trait because from what I’ve seen in especially Romanian media it’s kind of like a become sort of a caricature especially for trans women I’ve seen or just point of like kind of cruel humor in a way. So in that sense it feels a bit vulnerable to put yourself out there publicly as a transgender or queer person as a whole.

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Discrimination and Systemic Barriers

[0:02:46] Raluca
And how do you understand the word discrimination? Have you ever felt discriminated in social life, in education, health care, public services, I don’t know, applying for studies, looking for a job or

[0:03:09] Ash
I feel like not only is it just exclusion as a whole, but also the lack of space given to educate on the topic or give flight on just who you are. I feel like a lot of people just because they don’t understand it or they have a pre-made conception of what it means to them to be transgender or queer, they immediately reject it or in certain cases they kind of just stare at you like you just talked in a different language.

I have experienced discrimination as a queer person. Not me personally, I haven’t applied yet to any jobs. So, I couldn’t speak on applying for jobs as a trans person personally, but I have seen people struggle with it, especially when it comes to legal documents or just simply being addressed the way you wish to. For me at school I started transitioning I would say during adolescence somewhere around like 14ish I would say. And when I started like questioning okay maybe my gender identity isn’t the same way I was assigned at birth.

Even within I guess like friend groups since I sort of started navigating it through friends at school and introducing them like hey I think I might be like non-binary or like just experimenting with my gender and a lot of them were very supportive and I’ve had a few that I’ve learned later on that even though they were not there having been like “yeah yeah yeah”. I learned that they were talking behind my back, saying things like, “Oh, that doesn’t exist or it’s just a thing or that you make up or just for attention”.

Why would I purposely put myself out there and make my life so much harder for attention? Not to mention how hard it is to, from my knowledge, to get legal documentation changed to show your preferred gender or your name. You have to literally go to court like you’re being on trial for murder or something. It’s really ridiculous and really hard when you just want to go through life as any other person. What’s helped for me is having friends that I could trust and coming out to them and being like, “Hey, I like to go by Ash. Can you I like I prefer I feel myself when I use masculine pronouns.

This is the way I identify” and really learning how to put your foot down, not in per se in an aggressive manner, but just in who you are and how you know yourself and your identity is hard to learn. But having that support system really helped for me and it’s what’s given me even the courage to come out to like my college professors the first year of university. It was really nerve-wracking for me to just introduce myself as Ash because I had never done that to an authority figure, an educator before.

I never had the courage to.I’ve had the wish deep down, but I didn’t have in me because it’s such a scary leap of faith, especially because it’s not really talked about or you don’t see it a lot even within my queer friend circle. A lot of them don’t like they don’t speak up. Like they have a certain name that they like to be called and everybody that’s close to them calls them that. But they don’t feel like they can talk to, let’s say, an employer or someone else and be like, “Hey, can you call me that?” Which is not a hard thing to do.

It’s the same way when someone, let’s say, changes their last name or it’s really that easy or even in English, it’s when you don’t know someone, let’s say they forgot their wallet, you use they and it’s because you don’t know who it is. And it’s that simple. It’s not a lot of times it’s not of a, oh, I can’t do that. That’s too hard. It’s just excuses because you don’t want to do it. It’s very easy to do. It’s just from a lack of effort and wanting to understand, I think.

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Safety, Violence, and Everyday Experience

[0:08:11] [Raluca] And how safe do you feel in your everyday life? Or do you have any specific needs or necessities that you would like to share?

[0:08:21] Ash
For me, I guess as any person who was assigned female at birth, I do feel like I need to watch over my shoulder quite a lot, especially at night. If I thankfully haven’t had too many encounters where people are aggressive towards me, but I’ve had other people that I know that they’ve gotten people coming in their face, trying to jump them, cussing at them. I’ve had people yell slurs at me, call me names. I’ve gone social media DMs where I’ve gone told like to kill myself or just really hateful speech.

Mostly especially now during this time in Romania, I feel like it’s more vulnerable for people who are assigned female at birth or female presenting even the slightest bit because of the ongoing violence that’s coming up. And I’ve even within my close friend circle because we spend so much time out especially at university we have very long days and I can only imagine how it is for also queer people who work really late or have night shifts. I’m looking into purchasing pepper spray just to have that peace of mind. Sometimes I have like I feel pretty secure in the way I’m presenting because I’m pretty masculine presenting. I have the privilege that even as someone who hasn’t gone on hormones or anything like that, just by having short hair and my natural build and how tall I am, I do have the privilege and advantage of passing for a sis man most of the time.

And it’s really, it was really shocking at first when I first started transitioning and presenting like very masculine. Just the liberty of it all, being like able to do so many things and not to really think about it even during the day because now that I am more I guess androgynous in the way I express myself and I do wear makeup often times people do still assume I’m a woman which I’ve come to I’ve become kind of numb to it personally. And I still like will never forget how it was for the first time to be able to like take a walk when it turned dark outside. It was like mindboggling. Or even the small things of how accessible like even just clothing like jeans having enough space how much more like space there was for me as someone who was masculine presenting it kind of was hard to get adjusted to.

[0:11:34] Raluca
And have you ever experienced physical or and verbal violence, assaults or any other kind of harassment?

[0:11:43] Ash
I have been (because of that). Yeah, I have been yelled at, spat on, I’ve had rocks thrown at me. And I’ve known, like I said before, other people who have gotten harassed on the street or online because of it. And it shakes you to your core, especially in the moment and when you are more visibly queer, you kind of eventually, in air quotes, get used to it,but not really because you’re still human.

You still have reactions. It still affects you. But you kind of become desensitized to it because it happens so much even in like microscopic ways even like microaggressions of having people say like undermining your identity. I’ve had people say like just because I’m trans they would discredit like my masculinity in a way and be like “Oh if I was bi I would have hit on you”. I’m like okay.

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Visibility and Self-Expression

[0:12:55] Raluca
Okay. And how open are you in your professional and social life about being a trans person? Do you think that is important for those with whom you work or interact or live with to know about you?

[0:13:12] Ash
For me it’s such like an instrumental part especially as an artist. I express so much of like my identity and myself through even the way I dress is to me an art, the way I put out my work as a painter and the people I interact with so many people, we dig so much into deeper meanings and identity and symbolism that it’s kind of impossible not to have my identity just be known.

It’s such an instrumental part and it’s just who I am. I can’t I’ve come to a point where like I can’t live in a shadow or just stomp myself down into a corner to make others comfortable. So being open, especially with my university professors, was like a really big thing for me. And it’s created such a comfortable atmosphere. I feel so at home and safe with them and just like I belong simply by being called the name I prefer and being known by that and having to introduce myself in professional settings by my preferred name.

I felt so affirmed and confident and like I finally like was being seen. It’s become such an like instrumental part of who I am. I can’t see myself just hiding away or not putting out just my most authentic self. Even having my friend’s parents know me simply as Ash and not any other name has been kind of it’s altered my brain chemistry in a way. It felt so validating and just partaking in those small things, it really feels good.

[0:15:20] Raluca
And considering that society interprets the process of gender affirmation through a before and an after, in your experience, did you perceive a change in the behavior of the others when you started socializing with a different gender?

[0:15:39] Ash
I would say yes, in many ways. Just in general, everybody’s transition, no matter their whatever specific they identify as looks different, has different goals, takes different time. Many people transition later on in life and they realize it. Some people don’t want to transition through medication or anything like that because they feel more secure in their identity. It looks different for every person.

The matter of choice and accessibility for that to happen is what’s truly instrumental and for me I have seen people treat me differently once I started like presenting that way, not only did I was seen more or just acknowledged better also I’ve seen people switch up how they like treated me a lot for better or for worse. Also it’s just helped me as a person more and that change in me also reflected on how people perceive me and how they treat me. I think also in a lot of ways the negative change or switch up after you start transitioning. It can also be out of a place for let’s say family members or someone else. It can be from a place of fear. They might feel like they’re losing you. Which is not true. You’re not dying. You’re the same person.

They’re just evolving like every other person because no one person stays the same throughout their life exactly the same. We all change and evolve and it’s a normal thing. I think coming to a point of understanding and just a safe place where we can communicate like “You’re not losing me. There’s no reason for you to react so against it or violently or just like oppose it so much without even listening”. I think it can change a lot of people’s minds just having that put out and explained in a way that they can feel themselves more secure.

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Life After Transition — Easier or Harder?

[0:18:04] Raluca
So your life was easier or harder after expressing yourself with a different gender than ([Ash] both) the one side?

[0:18:14] Ash
I would say it does have it did come with its negatives like I said being visibly queer can sometimes be challenging or have people again not necessarily only be just disapproving or sort of react more violently towards you but also just a lot there’s a lot of explaining you have to do once you start transitioning you become sort of this encyclopedia and you have to educate a lot of people which can be tiring but it especially in a country that’s so less developed in this point of view it is something that you have to do unfortunately and you have to just have a lot of patience with it but for me I feel like it’s had a lot more positive effect in my life and on just my quality of life as a whole, it’s improved so much more.

[0:19:22] Raluca
Mhm. And in your country in Romania, were you ever forced to undergo medical or psychological treatment or intervention to maintain the gender of your birth?

[0:19:35] Ash
So you felt the pressure to I didn’t undergo let’s say any religious camps or anything of the sort I know people out there who have. But I have felt the pressure that I needed, especially from certain people. Because from this fear of unknown or not understanding I felt pressured that I needed to present a certain way. I needed to be someone who I’m not. And I was kind of forced into this role that they’ve conceived of what they expect me to be simply out of their own insecurities or fears or lack of knowledge.

And it was hard especially as a young developing kid when cuz I started transitioning pretty early on. I was, especially at first I was met with quite a bit of resistance from certain people, but you have to sort of learn how to put your foot down and just establish boundaries. Certain people, you’re going to have to take your time to really explain stuff to people and have deep conversations. And some are not going to want to listen and you’re going to realize maybe they’re not who you think they are, they’re not very good for you and you’re going to have to occasionally let go of certain people.

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Needed Changes in Romania

[0:21:05] Raluca
And what changes are necessary to take place in Romania in order to create environments that are safe and accessible to trans people?

[0:21:14] Ash
I think just the firstly the awareness because there’s such a stigma or these preconceived notions of what being trans is and because in especially Romanian media it’s become such a caricature in this sort of way. It’s sort of have the courage to express that. I feel like even the option, this doesn’t apply only to trans people. I’ve had also classmates who identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. But they have multiple names and per say they don’t want to be called by like one of them. And the teacher was like, “Okay, I don’t care. It’s your name. I’m going to keep calling you that” at a sort of like a from a standpoint of control.

They want to hold that over your head or they simply don’t want to listen to you. And I feel like the option, for example, especially in educational institutes or work as a whole, having the option to write down what you’d like to be addressed as, not only for pronouns, but just your name. I feel like it would help a lot of their people because some people, again they don’t like identify with their birth name. They might be non-binary under transgender umbrella, whatever it may be. Or simply they don’t like their name. There’s some people who just simply don’t like even the long version or just it as a whole. They’re called something different. And just being treated with that respect that’s necessary to give to everybody, it changes a lot. And having the place to be able to be yourself is, I feel, like most important because we have so little space, especially publicly or within establishments. It feels like it’s kind of impossible to step out of your hiding place.

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Early Awareness and Message to Others

[0:23:17] Raluca
And if you would be to go back to your childhood and recall when and how did you discover your transgender identity and what message would you like to share with other individuals who are about to begin their, this journey of transition?

[0:23:39] Ash
I think I was about six or seven. I was out playing with some neighborhood friends. We were talking about the Teen Titans cartoons. We were talking about some characters. And ironically enough, my two friends who were both girls, they were like they’ve come to like they had confessed like, “Oh, if I was a boy, I would date Raven, which is a character. She’s a girl.” And they were kind of agreeing.

And then I stopped and paused and I was nodding along and I didn’t have any sort of preconceived notion of oh that’s wrong or anything like that because that sort of idea is taught never innately in a person especially a child they’re taught these things of oh this is wrong or this is bad because before I was exposed to any sort of social stigmas towards that I thought it was like yeah no, you would, if you feel that way, you feel that way.

[0:24:43] Raluca
It can be.

[0:24:45] Ash
Yeah. And I remember just pausing at the idea and thinking to myself, not necessarily like if I would date Raven. I was sort of pausing and thinking if I was a boy. And I had this moment where I spaced out and I think you could literally see like sparkles around my head and I was just so deep in thought they had to snap me out of it. And they were like, “Are you are you okay?” Okay. I’m like, “Yeah, no, I’m good.” And I had this just the idea of it, it like brought so much joy to me because even before even though I enjoyed sparkly things and playing with dolls and the color pink, I still enjoyed not only traditionally, let’s say, more feminine or girl things. I loved video games. I loved I hung out with a lot of boys and my mom would always be like, “Oh, why you’re hanging out all the time with boys?” I’m like, “What’s wrong with it? I hang out with girls, too. It’s not like exclusive.” Or just doing these things that especially with my older sibling.

It made me discover a lot more things that about myself and how I what I liked and getting to experience that really made me feel like, wo, I’m discovering this whole new world. So, I feel like for any people out there who are about to start their transition journey, I know it’s overwhelming. You might be scared or unsure how it’s going to pan out or you think there’s oh there’s one way to do it. There’s not one set way to transition for everybody. Everybody’s journey looks different. You just have to give yourself grace and trust the process. Just be sure of yourself and have faith in yourself that you’re doing the best to just feel more like yourself and become the person who you feel like you were always but couldn’t be.

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Closing and Gratitude

[0:26:49] Raluca
Thank you very much and thanks for all the open mind ([Ash] thank you) and ideas you share.

[0:26:55] Ash
Thank you for having me.

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Editorial Note

This interview was conducted and written by Raluca for the TRANScenDANCE project, co-funded by the Erasmus+ Programme of the European Union.

Ash’s testimony — that of a young trans and non-binary person from Romania — sheds light on the challenges and hopes of a generation striving to exist fully despite fear and prejudice.

Between vulnerability and quiet strength, Ash embodies a youth shaping change through gentleness, awareness, and the courage to be oneself.

A precious voice on freedom, acceptance, and the beauty of human diversity.

Raluca, for the TRANScenDANCE project
© TRANScenDANCE Project – Erasmus+ 2025